Tuesday, February 17, 2009

A sad reason to do a mitzvah

For the past few nights, there's been a shiva minyan at the home of a member of our local synagogue who just lost a spouse. As I was walking there tonight, it occurred to me that our local shul has never held a weekday evening minyan except when members are sitting shiva, and that we're vastly more likely to get a minyan at the home of (a) mourner(s) than in shul on a weekday morning. It's a credit to the congregation that we take care of our mourners, but I wish we'd have a minyan on more ordinary occasions.

Is this a widespread issue? For my synagogue-going readers, do you usually get a minyan in your synagogue on a weekday morning, or are you, too, more likely to see a minyan at a shiva home than in shul?

15 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I suspect this is more an issue for non-O shuls. My shul has a minyan scheduled for every a.m.; I understand most mornings, the goal is met. It is composed largely, but not exclusively, of retirees. Unlike our shabbat & yom tov services, the regular morning minyan (or daily evening minyan, for that matter) is not yet egalitarian.

Evening shiva minyans are easier to make, because so many people find it more comfortable to make a shiva visit in the context of davening. When evening minyan is held at shul, as it is on most nights, most nights still draw a minyan, but its not unusual for someone to get on the phone to find a 10th. And that's with mourners/yahrzeit folks already in attendance. We tried to extract commitments of regular attendance -- once every two weeks? Most of those who made the commitment, myself included, have fallen off a little.

Tue Feb 17, 10:58:00 PM 2009  
Blogger katrina said...

I agree with Steve that, in the non-Orthodox world, minyanim tend to happen at night because of shiva (or yahrzeit). But that's just the way it is. And not only that--I think that the system is meant to work that way. The fact is, people will do mitzvot on account of shiva and yahrzeit that they wouldn't normally do--not just the visitors, but the aveilim (those in mourning) as well. These mitzvot help keep the Jewish community together. Is that sad? Maybe. Are the results (more mitzvot done) sad? Absolutely not.

Wed Feb 18, 09:53:00 AM 2009  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

this is not an issue for most orthodox shuls. The ones I attend have morning and evening minyanim at shul, every day. Attendees almost all work full time, a few retirees. Almost exclusively male.

My shabbat shul (the one I live near) can support a minyan at the shul, along with 2-3 shiva minyanim at once (that starts getting tight, though).

Wed Feb 18, 10:41:00 AM 2009  
Blogger Larry Lennhoff said...

I'm still on the mailing list for the C shul I attended while growing up, before leaving for college. There was a letter from the rabbi about 2 years ago - for the first time in over 20 years the shul did not have a minyan for weekday shacharit. Apparently the situation was corrected and they haven't missed one since. I'm not sure what the situation there is for mincha and maariv.

Wed Feb 18, 11:31:00 AM 2009  
Blogger Shira Salamone said...

Steve, you said, "Evening shiva minyans are easier to make, because so many people find it more comfortable to make a shiva visit in the context of davening." That's probably true. If you daven more, you can talk less.

Katrina, you said, "The fact is, people will do mitzvot on account of shiva and yahrzeit that they wouldn't normally do--not just the visitors, but the aveilim (those in mourning) as well." Ain't that the truth. People who rarely set foot in a synagogue will show up to say kaddish on a yahrzeit, or to say Yizkor on a holiday, even if they come or don't stay for the rest of the service. On the other hand, you also said, "These mitzvot help keep the Jewish community together. Is that sad? Maybe. Are the results (more mitzvot done) sad? Absolutely not." That's what I get for being such a cockeyed pessimist. Thanks for putting such a positive spin on this fact of Jewish life.

JDub said, "this is not an issue for most orthodox shuls." Sigh. I'd love to see more commitment from my own Conservative crew.

Larry, your old C shul sounds like it still has something going for it.

Wed Feb 18, 01:10:00 PM 2009  
Blogger Shira Salamone said...

That was supposed to say, "People who rarely set foot in a synagogue will show up to say kaddish on a yahrzeit, or to say Yizkor on a holiday, even if they *don't* come or don't stay for the rest of the service.

Wed Feb 18, 01:12:00 PM 2009  
Blogger Tzipporah said...

Wow - we don't even try to do services on weekdays. Nobody would come. The retirees out here like to sleep in. :)

I think people coming to sit shiva out here are thinking only of the mitzvah of comforting the mourner, and enabling the mourner to say kaddish - they don't likely see any mitzvot of their own in there at all.

Wed Feb 18, 01:35:00 PM 2009  
Blogger Shira Salamone said...

Tzippora, I hadn't thought of it quite that way, but you're probably right. I would hazard a guess that 95% of my local congregation--men and women alike--don't see themselves as obligated to pray, but take their responsibility for comforting mourners and enabling them to say kaddish very seriously.

Wed Feb 18, 01:49:00 PM 2009  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Like jdub's community, our local shuls, C and O (of several flavors)all manage a.m. and p.m. minyan. Sometimes, when a family is sitting shiva, minyan is relocated to the shiva house; if the shiva house is located beyond the town where the shul is located, we have a shiva minyan as well as one in the shul, although that would generally be evening, only.

I understand there is another reason for attending the a.m. minyan at my shul, although it's too early for me to be there and get my kids off to school -- scotch! I sometimes think this may be the main attraction for the retirees-regulars.

And, in case he's wondering, I speak of/live in the same community general community as Larry Lennhoff.

Wed Feb 18, 11:02:00 PM 2009  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Apologies ... I omitted my main point. My shul is a C shul.

Wed Feb 18, 11:03:00 PM 2009  
Blogger Laura said...

I live in NH so to me it's amazing that we have a minyan every weekday evening and Sunday mornings at our Conservative Shul!

Where I live people are scattered in many out-lying towns...we live 25 minutes away from the shul and others live further out.

It would be lovely to have a morning minyan, but not realistic as mostly our congregation is families with children-just getting everyone off to school in the morning on time is a minor miracle in my house.

I think it kind of depends on how "gathered in" the community is...if you live in a large metropolis where there are many Jews it's going to be easier and just plain more reasonable for a morning minyan to happen...people want to do Mitzvot...but sometimes the mitzvah is attending to your family.
b'shalom,
Laura

Thu Feb 19, 08:21:00 AM 2009  
Blogger Shira Salamone said...

Steve, have you and Larry met? I've met 11 bloggers, if memory serves me correctly, but I don't know whether that counts, since 7 of them (dad, mom, & 5 of their 6 kids) are from the same family. :) (No, I'm not kidding!)

"I think it kind of depends on how "gathered in" the community is..." Laura, one of the greatest challenges--and advantages--of Orthodox observance is its requirement that one live within walking distance of one's synagogue because one is not permitted to use any form of transportation other than one's feet on Sabbath, High Holidays, and Pilgrimage Festivals. There's something to be said for the fact that this requirement almost automatically creates a sense of community. It's much harder to create a sense of community when one has to drive 25 minutes (or spend over an hour on the subway) to get to shul.

Thu Feb 19, 10:51:00 PM 2009  
Blogger Shira Salamone said...

And the logistics of maintaining a far-flung community are tougher, too. It's certainly easier to pay a shiva call (or get together for Shabbat and holiday meals, or deliver mishloach manot packages on Purim) when one lives within walking distance of most members of one's synagogue.

Fri Feb 20, 12:09:00 AM 2009  
Blogger scarlettscion said...

We have morning and evening minyan at our C temple...I understand it is met most of the time. Lately they have been having a little more trouble than usual. I think since ours is in the downtown of a large city--near homes and/or jobs--that makes the difference. We're one of the few that live far enough away to need to drive.

Fri Feb 20, 11:05:00 AM 2009  
Blogger Shira Salamone said...

Scarlettscion, I think that any Conservative Jew whose shul can manage to get a minyan most of the time on both mornings and evenings should consider themselves lucky. But then again, there aren't many Jews in my neighborhood anymore, and most of them aren't synagogue-goers.

Sat Feb 21, 10:35:00 PM 2009  

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